It's inevitable. There are those rare days when I'm just too freakin' tired from studying, when I really don't want to crack open my Neuroscience book, when I just don't want to drag myself out in the torrential downpour to my 8am class, that I start to day-dream about what would happen if I hopped on a plane to the States and quit this whole med school thing.
It's med school taboo -- everyone thinks about it, but no one talks about it.
It only lasts for a few minutes. Usually, I snap out of it and my type-A personality takes over, reminding me that I have a quiz and lab assignment due for Physiology, and that I need to preread those lectures for Neuroscience. So, I'll head to the library, smile, say "hello" and "I'm fine" to those I pass by, when inside I may be feeling lonely and discouraged. Sometimes I wonder if I can do this for the rest of my life, and I wonder if those I pass by are thinking the same thing.
This feeling is one of the reasons why I decided to sign-up for the surgery selective. Not necessarily because I'm interested in applying for surgery residencies, but because I want to have more patient contact to remind me of the reasons why I decided to become a doctor in the first place. Right now, I'm spinning in an endless cycle of lectures, studying, and labs. It would be nice to throw a little real-life medicine in with all the science.
I'm certain that it happens to us all, yet we are all afraid to speak up and say something. It would be comforting to know that there are others out there. Others who felt something more than just "tired."
